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University person. Think about the last conversation you had. Do you feel like you were truly heard? More importantly, did the person across from you feel heard? Welcome to Universally Personal. I'm your host, Greg Allen. Today we'll hear the second half of our interview with Lou Rodriguez. He joins us to talk about the power of present, specifically how to be intentional about letting the person in front of you know that they genuinely matter. Lou doesn't just give us a textbook answer, he opens up about practical tips that helped him transform his communication skills.

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Am I so focused on checking my boxes that I'm not stopping to look at someone in the eyes?

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Universally personal.

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That reminds me of a time where I was in my office and a friend called and we talked about a couple of things, and then uh I wanted to get on to the next thing, and I said, Okay, well I'll talk to you later. And then they stopped me and they said, Can I tell you something? Uh and they said, Sometimes you give the impression that whatever we're talking about right now is something you want to get past. Sometimes it seems like you're in a hurry, and I'm not that important. Not that important. And I thought I thought about that for a second, and I thought that can't be true. And oddly, about a few minutes later, another friend called me about another thing, and I said, May I ask you this question? I was just told this that sometimes I seem to be in a hurry to get past this conversation to get to the next one. And the phone got quiet. And then they said, Lou, my dear brother, that's true. You always seem to be in a hurry, and sometimes it's a good idea. Forget the boxes, forget that, and stop and look at the person in the eye and not just listen but see and perceive. Am I so focused on checking my boxes that I'm not stopping to look at someone in the eyes? When you're wrapping up a conversation, a couple of seconds isn't gonna make a difference. And a word of affirmation, putting your hand on their arm and finishing that conversation well. Finishing that conversation well, finishing that conversation well. And maybe even asking, is there anything else that I can do for you? Is there anything else I can do to serve you today? Finishing that conversation well. Finishing that conversation well. Am I so focused on checking my boxes that I'm not stopping to look at someone in the eyes and and just see are they okay? Am I showing care by slowing down? Sometimes, sometimes even when there's um not necessarily conflict, but you're gathering information for sometimes it is conflict, and and at the end of the conversation, um you can ask this question out of all the things that you said, what's the one thing you want me to get the most from? What's the one thing you really want me to take away? And and then take the time and listen. It's even a good idea to say, okay, now may I repeat what you are saying, what you told me is troubling you. May I repeat that um just to make sure that I got it right? And sometimes, uh uh, sometimes um you miss something, but even the fact that you've said it and you've repeated it tells them, I've heard. I I I heard you. What do you want me to walk away with the most? What's the one thing you want me to walk away with? Am I so focused on checking my boxes and not stopping to look at someone in the eyes? When you're wrapping up a conversation, a couple of seconds isn't gonna make a difference. It's time well invested, time very well invested. Finishing that conversation well, and maybe even asking, is there anything else that I can do for you?

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Can I repeat what you just said? What is the single most important thing you want me to hear right now? Is there anything else I can do for you today? These are incredibly powerful questions, Lou, and thank you for sharing your experience and insights with us. Next, I wanted to dig a bit deeper. So I asked Lou what he wishes everyone knew, especially his own church family. Given his half century of ministry and personal life experience, I was eager to hear his response.

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Forgiveness, laying a resentment down. Unforgiveness and bitterness tends to be something that keeps creeping up on us. One of the things that we say at our church every Sunday is this the cross changes everything. The cross changes everything. And by that we mean that the death and burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ can change my life here on this earth and definitely affects my eternity. I heard someone say talking about an offense that someone did to him, and he said, Oh yes, I distinctly remember choosing to forget that. Forgiveness, laying a resentment down, unforgiveness, and bitterness tends to be something that keeps creeping up on us. The church needs to be a healing place.

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The church needs to be a healing place.

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But please don't let me down. And I said, Oh, I I guarantee you, I'm gonna let you down. I don't intend to, it's not my goal, but I will disappoint you at one day in one day. And so I I think people are looking for a church that is perfection that meets all their needs, and there's no such church, there's no such church. Forgiveness, laying a resentment down. The church needs to be a healing place.

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The church needs to be a healing place.

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There was a man at our church that actually had been arrested. It was a minor incident, but he was actually arrested, and we made up our mind to call him on the phone and say, Look, know that you're still loved at our church. This is your church family, this is your home. And sometimes people need to be reminded of that. We've all heard that phrase, the Christian army is the only army that shoots its wounded, and we need to do better than that. We need as a church to be grace-giving, being there to help with the healing and the restoration and the strengthening, but it starts with an unconditional love for the body of Christ.

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The church needs to be a healing place.

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Listeners, I hope you took away as much from Lou's insights as I did. If you enjoyed today's episode, please let us know. Leave us a comment by clicking the fan mail button right in your app. Until next time, be fit, stay sharp, and listen closely. Universally personal.