SPEAKER_00 0:05

Universally personal.

SPEAKER_02 0:08

What if urgency isn't a call to action? What if it's just our own discomfort with the unknown? Too often we convince ourselves that fitting the puzzle pieces together right this second is the only way to feel safe. But in today's episode of Universally Personal, we're exploring the hardest part of personal growth, the weight. Our guest today is Keely Cavins, and she's here to share how simply living the experience and letting the puzzle solve itself might actually be the real solution. Now, for anyone who knows Keely, you know this is a massive evolution. Keely is someone who constantly sees connections, shifts in patterns, and stray puzzle pieces. Left unattended, her mind can easily go into overdrive. Listen as she describes how her devotion to a simple processing approach while embracing the weight became her path to a completely different level of physical, mental, and spiritual health.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Universally personal. Like when some people are like, ah, like gym is like my church. I'm like, what? If I could, if I could just never work out in life, that'd be great. It does feel good to like move my body, but I think for me it's like the obstacle is like, you know, doing the hard thing, being consistent with it, having the discipline to do it, and understanding like what works for you. Whatever the obstacle is, it's probably like there for a reason, and you should probably not avoid it, you know. Yeah, yeah, walking actually changed my life, and it really didn't even start as like a way to like lose weight or anything like that. It was more of um like a mental thing. My my good friend, she is about I think 75, and she actually like tricked me into walking. We would walk together and we would talk, and it's a form of like, I forget what it's called, but it's the same as like tapping therapy or whatever it's called, um, but it's the back and forth. And so when you're talking while doing a back and forth motion, that's when you're processing. And so it just kind of started as like, oh, do you want to just like go for you know some walks and stuff like that? And then like once we got like more um in a rhythm with it, she was like, Yeah, I actually kind of like tricked you. She was like, because walking is like what helped me work through it. I mean, it helped me more than like therapy, even because for one, you're you're talking through your things, but even if I'm walking alone, it's like because that's where I feel like I can just let my mind roam. That's why I do kind of prefer walking alone, because then you're doing that back and forth motion, and it just kind of helps you like sort through things. So, yeah, I feel like walking changed my life in that regard. Now, the obstacle is kind of the way because once I took my health like more seriously, and once I got into better shape, obviously, like you start to feel better about yourself. Or like it's kind of the same as like the only way out is through. Whatever the obstacle is, it's probably like there for a reason, and you should probably not avoid it, you know. Like that was an easy entry into like health too, because I literally just started with walking, like, and then I slowly started changing like my eating habits, and I slowly I mean it was a long journey because anytime I ever did try and like get healthy, it was always like okay, I need to like be super strict. I didn't even understand nutrition, I didn't even understand anything about anything. I was just like, oh, I have to eat carrots and grass, and then I have to like you know work out six days a week, and that's not actually what it is. It's more like I feel like the best shape I ever got into was once I started like working on my nervous system and just like regulation and things like that, because I feel like our bodies store so much stuff. So even whenever I was in the gym, you know, multiple days a week, I wouldn't really see that many results. But once I started going slow and walking and kind of being a little more intuitive with like my exercise, that's when I feel like you know it got better for me. Yeah. Whatever the obstacle is, it's probably like there for a reason and you should probably not avoid it, you know. Or like it's kind of the same as like the only way out is through. Whatever the obstacle is, it's probably like there for a reason and you should probably not avoid it, you know. Or like it's kind of the same as like the only way out is through. But it is more of like, yeah, that devotion. Like I wanna I I do feel like this devotion to walking. Um and sometimes I think whenever you phrase it like that too, when you phrase it rather than like it's like a you're trying to be disciplined, if you could just be devoted, because if you're devoted, you're gonna do it forever. If you're disciplined, you might only do it for a few months. But like, so I don't really feel like walking is like a discipline thing for me. It's more of like a devotion. So now I'm a little bit more like lenient where like if I do miss a day, which I really don't, which I really don't, only if like the weather's terrible, like it does feel like I didn't really get to do what I wanted to do, or I didn't really accomplish much, but I'm devoted to it, so I know I'll do it tomorrow. I know I'll do it, you know, or just whatever I do. You know what I mean? I've been doing um qi gong lately, and that's been awesome too. That's a really good like nervous system. It's like Chinese medicine. Um, I just recently found it, but it's just slow movement basically. Um it actually looks kind of silly, like sometimes I'll be at the river and I'm like, I wonder what I look like right now. Um, but things like that, where it's like I'm devoted to that, so it feels a little bit less like daunting whenever I think like, oh, I've gotta like do this, this, and this. It's like, well, like if I even if I don't do it today, or if I don't do it, it's a time that I thought I would do it, I'm going to do it. Because if you're devoted, you're gonna do it forever. If you're disciplined, you might only do it for a few months. Whatever the obstacle is, it's probably there for a reason, and you should probably not avoid it. Yeah, walking changed my life. It really did.

SPEAKER_02 7:22

Well, it's one thing to commit to a daily walk, and yet another to manage the stray thoughts that follow along with you. Keely is a natural at spotting patterns and connections, but that means her mind is often running on high alert. Next, she opens up about the real work, learning to tolerate the discomfort of the unknown instead of rushing to fix it.

SPEAKER_00 7:52

Maybe it's not my job to like try and figure out like how this puzzle piece of like life goes together.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

Universally personal.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

The more urgent it feels, the more I I realize, like, okay, I need to wait. Like, I I need to like just wait it out. And usually, I mean that's the uncomfortable part, is like waiting it out. Like if there's conflict, I'm like, let's talk about this. And sometimes there's a place for that, but a lot of the time it's gotten me in an even weirder position just because it's like, well, I maybe if I waited and got more information, but it's usually just like being uncomfortable in the unknown. Like, that's why I have this urgency to like fix the thing or fix the problem or solve this or get to a resolution. And that's not really like how it works, you know. That's more of like, oh, I'm trying to like comfort myself. I'm trying, and maybe that's not how someone else operates, you know what I mean? Maybe they need time to process, which I think I do too. But I think that, you know, not really knowing myself before, I didn't know that I needed time to process. I just wanted to get rid of that feeling. Get rid of that feeling. That's the uncomfortable part, is like waiting it out. For one, it's pattern recognition. It's if if something is slightly off, if someone is always, you know, typically this way, and then one day they're not, I'm like, ooh, like what's that mean? Like, what does that mean? And then sometimes it's in relation to me. I'm like, well, what does that mean about me? If especially if it was something, you know, that was directed towards me or whatever. Um, so yeah, just kind of overthinking a lot of those things. Overthinking a lot of those things. But I don't know, I feel like I can catch myself a lot better these days, as far as like, you know, not letting myself go too far. Yeah. You can notice every pattern and it all feels connected. Like for me, I can see like connections everywhere in my life. And I think everything is connected, but maybe I don't have to like look into it as much. You know what I mean? Maybe it's not my job to like try and figure out like how this puzzle piece of like life goes together. Maybe I'm just supposed to kind of like experience it and then like slowly watch the puzzle kind of build. The more urgent it feels, the more I realize like, okay, I need to wait. Maybe I'm just supposed to kind of like experience it and then like slowly watch the puzzle kind of build. Yeah, that's another thing because like everything does feel important and everything does feel pretty urgent. But one thing I've learned not everything needs to be addressed, because that's also another thing, too, where I feel like everything is important. Yeah, if everything's important, then like nothing's really important, you know? Yeah. But that's the thing, is sometimes it feels like everything matters. Yeah, it's more just acceptance, too. Cause I love control too. And like the older I get, the more I'm like, oh, I'm actually in control of almost nothing. It's nothing. And I hate that. Like, if it's I think Denise is the one who showed me like the the Venn diagram of like what you're in control of, and there was like two things, and I was like, oh my god, that's it. And even then, sometimes I feel like I'm not even in control of like, you know, myself sometimes, you know. That's like the the work I think we have to do. Sometimes people look at me, especially because you know, I'm I'm spiritual, or I'm, you know, I'm always learning about like uh self-improvement and growth and things like that. And I feel like some people look at me and think that like maybe I don't have hard things that happen to me, or or it's just maybe the way I handle it. It's I've even had people say, like, I wish I could be more like you, and I'm like, you don't see me when I'm at home and I'm like in my own world and I'm you know freaking out about what my what I've got going on, but that's just part of the process, really. And I think everything is connected, but maybe I don't have to like look into it as much. Maybe it's not my job to like try and figure out like how this puzzle piece of like life goes together. Maybe I'm just supposed to kind of like experience it and then like slowly watch the puzzle kind of build. That's like the the work I think we have to do. So yeah, I don't know if I got too far off the the actual question, but I might.

SPEAKER_02 12:40

What a powerful reminder from Keeley. True growth happens when we learn to sit in the discomfort of the weight. The next time you feel the overwhelming urge to fix a problem, change a pattern, or force a puzzle piece into place, just pause. Give yourself permission to let the picture build on its own. A huge thanks to Keely for sharing her journey with us today. And thank you for listening. And until next time, be fit, stay sharp, and listen closely.